mint jelly

Unbelievable

It is quite possible that I have isolated the worst acting ever recorded. I should have titled this post “when dkny models act”. This particular one is very old but, have you seen this? This is what you see when morbid curiosity leads you to type in a url.

um My brain hurts.

and so I offer shallow advice to make the most of your evenings out:

1. Drink until your designer heels don’t hurt.

2. Don’t wear pants so tight your cell phone can’t vibrate.

3. Leave with the woman he was checking out over your shoulder just to spite him.

Posted by mia on 07/09 at 07:12 PM

  1. I see your bad acting and I raise you: http://www.5yearmission.com/downloads.html

    Posted by  on  07/09  at  09:05 PM

  2. the words “Please leave your download window open a while after the transfer is complete so other fans of Star Trek can download this beauty” only whet the appetite.

    Posted by mia  on  07/09  at  09:18 PM

  3. OOOH OOOOOH WHAT IS THIS

    my skin is crawling and i’m laughing it’s sooooooo rediculously bad. and what’s with the music and the dialogue played over it?

    oooooh. hurts. ooooh man

    Posted by mia  on  07/09  at  09:27 PM

  4. I know. I’m sorry to subject you to that. But really, It’s for your own good. To build up your immunity, you understand. Honestly, I’m only trying to help.

    Posted by  on  07/10  at  12:40 AM

  5. *holds alcohol-soaked cotton ball to arm and takes lollitpop*

    Posted by mia  on  07/10  at  10:48 AM

  6. clearly i can’t spell loll-ti-pop. sounds like it could be a number of things. let’s not go there.

    even their client was nerdy, not just quicktime or (except for a preview Win media). They went out of their way to make the file type nerdy.

    Posted by  on  07/10  at  10:52 AM

  7. Yes. initially I was put off by the file type choices… but then I looked at some of the “production stills” and realized that I had to watch the preview no matter the cost or personal inconvenience.

    Posted by  on  07/10  at  12:17 PM

  8. So… out of curiosity… what were the circumstances-or series of events- that caused you to find that link at DKNY? Those movies are truly awful… evil perhaps.

    Posted by  on  07/10  at  12:38 PM

  9. mostly - an ad in a women’s fashion mag. “see the story”. i’d seen the ads a few times. first saw this one about a year ago i think.

    “see the poor judgement”

    “see the egos gone amuck”

    “see people who are more attractive if they don’t speak”

    i should do their marketing b/c any of my taglines would also get me to go have a look.

    Posted by mia  on  07/10  at  12:51 PM

  10. i should ask you the same thing… where did you find those trekky fan films who really, really wanted to have a directed use the phrase “brace for impact” so they could pretend that their set moves and then cgi some flashy explosion in post production?

    Posted by mia  on  07/10  at  12:54 PM

  11. oh, jeez. I was hoping that you wouldn’t ask me that. Well, actually, I was engaged in a rather intellectual conversation at the office with my co-workers concerning the existence of a third generation spin-off sitcom. To wit: a successful sitcom that spawned a second sitcom which, in turn, spawned a third successful sitcom.  The intern produced that website suggesting that it be considered a spin-off. I aggressively rejected that proposal.

    So that’s how I found out about it.

    BTW If you want to know what the third generation spin-offs are you’ll have to write me. We can’t have that information falling into the wrong hands, can we?

    Posted by  on  07/10  at  06:34 PM

  12. Interns will always get you into trouble.

    Spin offs aren’t by definition a bad thing - The Simpsons came from Tracy Ulman. I won’t get into the Star Trek spinoffs (not that i don’t like them, with the social commentary delivered through the channels of sci-fi/fantasy/other worlds. that’s a long and noble tradition)

    so, if it’s that bad we’re clearly not talking something spawned from three’s company or star trek.

    and this weird bad acting made-for-the-internet 5-year mission “show”? NOT a spin off. it’s fan art, that’s all. really funny terrible embarrassing for them, fan art. but i still love that they made it. go dorks. lol

    Posted by mia  on  07/11  at  03:09 PM

  13. Oh certainly. It takes a lot of courage, devotion and love to get all gussied up in a Star Trek uniform and pantomime “space turbulence” or do that little skip-step when materializing down onto some busy street in LA.

    I don’t mean to suggest that spin-offs are inherently bad. Oh sure, many of them are dismal, misguided and offensive to good taste; but occasionally something bubbles to the surface that redeems the whole process. It is, however, a rare program indeed that can produce a successful lineage of shows.

    So, no. We can’t count “The Ropers” or “Three’s A Crowd”.

    Posted by  on  07/12  at  10:03 AM

  14. doing that little skip step is harder than it looks, dude.

    Posted by mia  on  07/12  at  04:15 PM

  15. Yeah, I guess. But I think the hard part is just getting the choreography down so everyone skip-steps at the same time.

    Posted by  on  07/12  at  07:45 PM

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