Scrape, The morning after
I love my master - so kind when I saw him before class, noticing I had lost weight, telling me he’d take it easy on me. A gentle “ok, ok” walking with his arm around my shoulder. Dramatically moving away and waving his arms when I started coughing because, along with everything else, he has a sense of humor.
I coughed so much, as soon as we started to skate (we jump and scissor our legs, and move left, right, front or back in fighting stance depending on what the master barks - it’s a warm up for response time) my head felt like it was going to explode. Yes it hurts. Doesn’t matter. Yes it hurts. Doesn’t matter.
100 crunches, 60 vertical leg lifts, no prob. Instead of 3 sets of 20 jackknives we did 2 sets of 30, surprisingly. I rocked them. 20 boy pushups, 10 girl pushups (telling myself, i’m lighter so this should be easier) but my goal is 60 boy. The partner stretches felt a bit difficult for the first time in a while. With my cheek and forehead pressed to my shin and the weight of my partner leaning on my back, I was so happy to exhale, extend and feel the stitching inside my legs wake up and lengthen. I did the deepest center splits ever, and the flattest center stretch - legs straight out, feet flexed, cheek pressed to the mat, back flat, partner pressing just barely.
Every little thing took much more effort though, fundamental movements, forms. Exhausted from doing just the first form, but we went through the entire exam procedure which was really beneficial.
This, this thing, being capable, always comes as a surprise to me. But it’s precisely why I love the class, this group. Trepidation evolves into a harnessed energy, laced together by encouragement of extraordinary people. I always dread it, then I love it. During class, it’s a labor, torture, sometimes I want it to end. The key is to completely do whatever you’re doing at the moment. It’s wonderful to hear “Anh jo, moong yum” (sit, meditate) from Master Davis as he gestures us down. Cold from sweating, exhausted, ready to fly if I’m told to, what I invariably feel during the closing meditation is a rush of gratitude towards the class, amazement that I’ve made it through, and a desire to continue.
I’m relieved to be a part of this, especially now when everything in my life seems to fit into the ‘difficult’ category. The trepidation in me just wants it to be over. I want to find another job, I want to know where I’ll be. I want to know where home will be. This is torture. I want it to end. I’m stretched, pushed and so tired. The only voice that barks commands is mine, and it’s hard to keep it louder than all the other voices. I try to remember to have fun, to focus on what I’m doing right now, to be inquisitive, to listen, and keep moving.
As a window into someone elses life your Mintjelly has been great. I run a Holiday Greetings Card service and would like to offer you and your friends, if you are willing to work with me on this, a Holiday Greeting Card service. I am just starting off so feel free to F--k with me, within reason. Thanks. Kevin
I always wonder if what I talk about ends up sounding completely bizarro, freakish, self absorbed or lame. I almost took this post right down. For me, there’s a big connection between mind and body, no contradiction. I push myself physically whenever I’m facing something mentally or emotionally difficult because it’s a way of showing see, you can do that. All I mean to say is, I’m glad you enjoy it. At least I know someone does! lol
hoo rah
personally I think I’m sending my relatives and friends a form letter this year, but good luck with your new service. There are always niches to be filled.
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