In General
One week from today will be my last day here at work. I have no idea how to describe how that feels.
Well this weekend was productive. My apartment is becoming empty though not empty enough. It occurred to me that I’m an idiot....in general, but also for planning on driving to my brother’s place with a moving van (just van size for what i’m keeping) when I don’t know, and have a feeling, that his roomate won’t be out of there soon enough. So now I’m thinking, pay through the nose for movers who’ll store the stuff for a while, and then move it. ugh.
Either way, I am moving to NY the weekend after Christmas. Crazy.
I have 5 non-work days total before the weekend I move where I am free to pack, to get stuff picked up, etc. All my spare time is being spent sorting through stuff, trying to decide what goes and stays. Overly sentimental, I have held on to so much over the years. I had as close as a panic attack as I get yesterday, and it took me a while to figure out why. I think it was from some pictures I’d looked through, from years ago. They’re going on the trash pile, finally.
I have hardly any time to see my friends who I’m missing already. Maybe it’s ok to not have an awkward “let’s hang out for the last time while I’m local” thing. Part of me doesn’t want to because I’m the type that cries or says stupid things. I should throw a big party this Saturday night, since I’ve been meaning to for forever. I don’t know though. Not like it would be quality time, more just a chance for me to look around a room and try to burn faces into my memory.
What should I do? If you had no time, how would you go about seeing the people you needed to see? How do I let them know that I don’t want to talk about myself and everything I have to do, and what’s going on? All I want is a good dose of them. I want to watch their face and listen to them speak and soak them all up. I want to be able to give them a hug without crying. I just want us to mean it when we say we’ll visit. I mean it.
I wish gaining a new life didn’t mean leaving the old.
If you haven’t seen it, go look at the moon tonight.
One good thing about a party is an empty apartment. PLenty of room to invite all those people you want to.
Don’t forget that NYC ain’t that far away by plane train or automobile. E-mail sens instantly and you always have the blog. You’ll keep in touch. Maybe not in the same way. But it will happen. Have faith and you’ll be just fine.
I’m trying to decide if those are encouraging words or not…
true.
true.
true.
thanks elle
they are, i’m just in a weird mood i guess. i got all weepy and told the producer who called (right at the moment i finished writing) that i had a cold, to cover it up. ugh i’m a dork.
I can certainly understand weepiness. Getting a little choked up. For crying out loud you’ve spent the majority of your 20s in this job. But there are so many cool things to come.
absoltively, eetle be koo i knows it
I love the last line tonight.
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