All's Phair in Love and War
As Kate Harding describes feeling that Liz Phair was speaking for her, when she was 18 years old and Exile in Guyville made its debut, I feel that Kate Harding is kind of doing likewise.
Like Kate, I was 18 in ‘93, and thought feminism was depressing and had already done its job. The resonance of “The Yellow Wallpaper” or “House of Mirth” made me feel like I would ultimately die alone, and be eaten by cats (they would come in off the fire escape of my inevitable studio apartment). At that age confusion made me sassy. I used to joke that I was saving myself for my second husband.
Unfortunately I can testify first-hand that Divorce Song was an excellent song when I was going through the separation at 26, and helped me feel more kindly, less angry once it was over (it was he who checked out; i cried uncle). Finding the album again, in my own independent-woman apartment, gave me something to rock out to; the album rang out my choices, frustrations, and personality in a way that echoed with strength and purpose, in a time when I questioned everything around me.
Gunshy was during, definitely during (funny story - I used my wiles to get him to sell the many guns in the house before telling him we had to talk). Help Me, Mary was for the period before we were married, when I should have realized he wasn’t partner material. Strange loop was for during (example: I wanted to go to grad school and he asked my why i had to make everything hard. hawhaw!) and after, and then not just for him anymore but for most guys who liked me at first and then became irritated that I wasn’t, in fact, simply a projection of qualities they applied to a pretty package. Mesmerizing was for a time and a person long after that (i’m happy you know me well and even happier i like it). What a funky catchy song with no aspirations of pop.
Hearing her last album I thought, “Oh no. She got happy.” But I was happy for her, willing even, to not have anything as good as Exile in Guyville again. Liz deserves to be happy. Maybe she’s proof and hope for all young women that painful love lessons are good things, the death of naivete is just a painful rebirth we’re meant to survive, and height is all about how you stand with yourself. And I’ve been standing 6’1” instead of 5’4”.
Did you see this?
http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/authors/oh_my_god_liz_phair_is_writing_a_novel_81733.asp
no i hadn’t seen that. wow, i bet it’ll be really good.
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