mint jelly

Monday, September 15, 2003

Feelings

I’ve been cranking David Byrne’s Feelings album all day and I forgot how much I am crazy about it. I’m so tempted to just bundle the whole thing and throw it up here, but that’s probably silly. Go buy it, listen to every single word, dance to the salsaliciousness when no one is looking and say, ‘yes mia!! my fucking god yes!!!’

Well, the mamasita’s gone and (while that was fun) I’m looking forward to having the apartment to myself when I get home from Taekwon Do tonight. I’m a down time person, I need to be alone sometimes just to recharge.

My ‘master’ is back in town, and while the black belts covering for him were/are great, they’re nothing like the demanding, unforgiving energy ball which is Master Davis.  He’ll either go easy on me because he feels bad about hurting my hand, or he’ll go hard on me for missing 9 weeks. We shall see. I’ll get my butt kicked either way.

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Sunday, September 14, 2003

Ginko Balboa

I’ve had the momster visiting since Friday afternoon… she goes home tomorrow morning before I leave for work.

Today she almost made me pee laughing. We were watching a thing on tv about new drugs for memory loss and she said, “yeah it gets so bad, and ginko balboa doesn’t help.”

!!!!

“hehehe mom.... it’s Rocky Balboa.... ginko biloba...”

My goodness, she’s a gem.

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Friday, September 12, 2003

Friday Five

Woo! the Friday Five. I’m with Maria, I like the questions today.

1. Is the name you have now the same name that’s on your birth certificate? If not, what’s changed?

My name was changed briefly because I was fool enough to marry the wrong man. It’s really hard to get it changed back and forth — it’s back now. I don’t think I’d change it again even if I got married.

2. If you could change your name (first, middle and/or last), what would it be?

I really like the name Lucy, which is my grandmother’s. But it doesn’t sound good with my other names.

3. Why were you named what you were? (Is there a story behind it? Who specifically was responsible for naming you?)

My dad was a naval aviator stationed in Athens, Greece and my mom was following the aircraft carrier. She fainted walking up the hill to the Parthenon (sightseeing) and suspected she was pregnant. The whole time she carried me she called me her “Made in athens baby”. Also my dad actually was Missing In Action in The Vietnam War for a while, so Mia stuck and they kept calling me that. Victoria is after my aunt and Godmother.

4. Are there any names you really hate or love? What are they and why?

I hate the name Melissa because my brothers told me “boys have a George and girls have a Melissa.” I hate if people call me “Vicky” because she was the chubby annoying captain’s daughter on The Love Boat. And my father was a captain around that era.

5. Is the analysis of your name at kabalarians.com accurate? How or how isn’t it?

For Victoria - It is in a lot of ways. I wouldn’t say that I lacked confidence, though I’m shy on the phone at first. I used to feel more confident expressing myself in writing but now I’m about equally confused and frustrated if it’s something really hard to say. When that happens I err into silence and it does make me feel disconnected sometimes. Usually I’m thinking as much or more about what the other person is feeling and will modify myself so as to make them comfortable, or not hurt, etc.

I do feel like what I do needs to be beneficial, to contribute. But I can be extremely selfish in the basic meaning of the word. When I believe I’m right I consider any compromise a dilution of what is right, and I can be really stubborn about it. That at least balances out my tendency towards self sacrifice.

For Mia - which as in numerology they say use what you’re called, not what you’re named - It’s really dead, dead on. so funny =p

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Thursday, September 11, 2003

A Bridge

This is beautiful, thank you Maria.

This morning I woke up an hour before my alarm. I kept turning over and trying to go back to sleep. I caught sight of myself in the mirror, buried under the covers, looking like the word whimper personified.

40 minutes later I was running East across the Calvert St. bridge with the sun in my eyes, breathing for the first time in 24 hours. It was so bright I closed my eyes for a moment, then for a moment longer, until I was running with my eyes closed. I could feel the people on either side of me.... hear their footsteps, breathing, their clothes rustling. The texture of the pebbled sidewalk, the heat of the sun, and feeling the air moving over the bridge were enough to keep me moving in the right direction, not coming close to colliding with anyone or tripping.

It’s hard to explain how that felt.  A little bit of wonder on that bridge, along with a confidence that came with the steady rhythm of movement. Breathing in two counts, right foot lands, out two, left foot lands. It is possible to not veer in direction even while not seeing the path. ok. i see. ok.

Blisters I’d tried to coddle with band-aids split at the far side of the bridge. I felt a double hot-cold slash of pain as the skin over my ankle tendons opened raw and wet, and I kept running. What else is there to do?

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Wednesday, September 10, 2003

Hiccups

I have been crying, and trying not to cry, for hours.... in the office with people hugging me, with my bosses, in the bathroom, walking down the hall, seeing all the things that remind me that I’ve spent five years here. I have grown up here and can honestly say that I’ve always loved it, even when it was practically ruining my life. I love the people I work with, and especially the ones I work for. I love the ones I’ve met and the lovely incestuous world of the web.  I love everything I’ve learned. It feels like home. It is home. I’ve spent more hours in these walls than in any one home in my life.

I can’t remember when I’ve been this sad.

I was given the option of staying through December 15th, and I am leaning towards that. My severance is pretty good, and they’re going to fund a fabulous new computer or two.

Thank you so much everyone who has been incredible, helpful, comforting, empathetic. I need you, you’re helping. You’re awesome.

I have the hiccups, a hangover, and am backing up the files I want to keep on my work machine.

Dear Lord, last night was fun! I had a girls’ night with Mihow and Maria. We must rinse, repeat. 

I had 11 million beers and can think of at least two stories that I started to tell but didn’t reach the point.

point #1 - I was telling you our body weights when we (dave and I) started going out because as a lark I gave Dave a piggy back for about a block through Baltimore, just to show how strong I was, despite being tiny (then).

point #2 - I started telling you about Emily (and all that wacky dorm room stuff, and about what went with peanut m&ms) because the craziest thing.... after a few hours our minds somehow synced up and for at least three sentences our words were identical in word, timing and tone. And then we both screamed, laughed, and ran inside.

as to why I’m here at this hour....

All I will say is that someone pretty critical got the ax, and today we’re having an ominous meeting at 9:30. So I’ve got a touch of the paranoia. It’s good to leave few traces on a work machine anyway. This is a project I should have done a while ago.

8:30 is an hour and a half before people usually show up, and my office is very quiet.

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Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Youch - See OMFG below

When will I learn to not walk over a mile to work in spanking new shoes? oooooow. today is going to be a socks in the office day.

I’ll post more when I get back, I have to set up for my meeting at 11. One thing I want to share is the most recent meeting minutes from my high school reunion committee (i declined to attend). These girls are just as cracked as I remember. From what it smells like, no one I care to see is coming.

Nevermind the reunion. My father the teenager called. He’s coming to town for a day and we were going to go out to eat. Now he’s bringing girlfriend of the moment Diana. He dated her back in ‘93 while he was finishing his 3rd marriage.  I went out of my way to shock her, like a good little brat, by telling her about this Mexican boxer from whom I’d bought a bud the length of my hand.  She remembers. I told my father to tell her I was just trying to scare her, that I have a vivid imagination. or do I? heheh

I just thought she was a freak cuz she’d made a really yummy dessert and then refused to have even a BITE of it. She might have been trying to poison us.

So Diana has had a thing for him since then, in between he’s moved to CA wine country and dated his (former) best friend’s wife for the past 7 years. He just broke up with Beth finally (who used to be lesbian lovers with my ex stepmother before they both found naval officers to marry) and now is right back with Diana.

Diana who planted many pots of flowers for the front of his home. Diana, who then SMASHED THEM TO HELL when she dropped by my dad’s house this weekend and he wasn’t there. He went to see Beth, and talk etc etc. He told Diana he was visiting Martin his pal, and that she was a wacko. Then my father charmed her, she made rational about being a passionate person, and they went to the shooting range together the next day. My father’s become a gun collector and has a dealer’s license. whole nother story.

May you never never never have to say, “Dad, this woman is a freak. She’s going to boil your rabbit! Be careful!” while in your cube with no privacy. oi....

I see them tomorrow for dinner and to show them my place. My father said, “just observe” .... this will be interesting.

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Monday, September 08, 2003

I Loved You, Warren

Warren Zevon is dead. He is dead. He is dead.

I am sad.

article

They do not mention one of my personal favorites: Lawyers, Guns and Money

All I have on my work machine is Werewolves of London. lame of me… Here you go.

ahh ok! thanks to Derek dRock. Here’s the song, I haven’t even heard it in forever. But man, I thought it was great when I was heard it at 14.

Send lawyers, guns and money
The shit has hit the fan

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Sunday, September 07, 2003

Hair Cut

Otto’s party friday night was pretty cool. I didn’t know as many as I normally do, but there were gobs of people. I was in an impromptu band for about a half hour, which consisted of me and two other girls with a ukulele, a harmonica, and an oompa. I couldn’t find a good photo of a German oompa, but it’s basically 5-6 kinds of percussion intruments fused to a pogo stick that comes with one drum stick. Guess which one I played? good stuff. I guess people had drank enough because they thought we were great, or at least as interesting as a car wreck.

Yesterday, I had my hair cut. Today I walked to Georgetown and did a bunch of shopping since I haven’t (aside from this week) in forever.  I’ve just paused the movie Red, which is going well, and Prince happens to be playing in my itunes. I haven’t seen Blue or White but it hasn’t been an issue. Last night Maria and I watched Bad Taste to stop Mike’s begging and to keep him from going back to work.

I honestly felt like I was going to throw up for about 2 hours. So ill, but I admit there were some pretty cool parts. Mike likes it way too much, the sicko. The aliens don’t appear in their “true form” until the very end, and while they’re hiding in human form they all wear light blue oxfords and jeans. The actors were just a bunch of his friends on a rugby team. Fucking Brilliant.

Red ended in the most amazing way!!  I was completely stunned, it was wonderful. See it. See it. Perhaps one of the best endings I’ve ever seen.

In a completely different genre, the coolest fight scene in recent memory is from the movie The Transporter with that big bald guy from Snatch. The scene makes highly creative use of oil and bike pedals. Hot hot hot! Don’t know why I’m thinking about that.... hmmmm eeh hhemm heheheheh

Such a badass.

Last night on cartoon network’s adult swim they had a commercial regarding their web site. It was a simple black screen with white text that gave the number of forum comments they had at that point. Then the text said something to the effect that only 4 programmers kept that up and going. Then the text thanked them, using the screen names of each of the four.

I thought it was impressive, and the nicest thing I’ve ever seen. Especially, it makes the public appreciate it more.