Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Wordle
Wordle makes spiffy wordclouds.
I’m tickled by the words that appear (read: relieved it caught the feed of a decent post). Yay!
They’re all different, like this one, or like one of my Delicious feed. Make some.
I used Mac’s Grab to get a screen capture so I could orient the image right side up. Paparazzi! which is normally great for doing whole window (not just visible screen grabs) didn’t work. It captured the image of a java applet not loading.
tee hee =]
Get a Grip: the MTA's Anti-Groping Campaign
Holla Back NYC is the one place I’ve found that gives victims of harassment not just a voice, but a course of action through which to channel their rage and feelings of impotent despair over a society that neither values nor protects human rights.
Ok, sorry for the volley. Lemme back up. Normally I gag when I hear the words “raise awareness.” But I have strong feelings about the MTA’s canceled campaign to raise harassment awareness, and think that it’s a proper balance to my “I Heart the Subway” post. In brief:
Last year the MTA did a study to see how bad icky people were harassing women. Their own study “found 63% of respondents have been sexually harassed and 10% reported having been sexually assaulted in the subway system.” MTA knows this but decided that their own ad campaign against the subject was “too pervy.” The argument the MTA makes is that these ads will actually lead to more groping.
There is no study indicating that would be the case. Reporting crimes doesn’t indicate a rise in crimes. It indicates a rise in reported crimes. The NYPost makes this smart distinction (though I would have too — just like “best selling author” only means most books sold, definitely not best-written).
The MTA has discomfort over their own posters, ones that reveal how uncomfortable and sick those little public groping sessions are. And it’s true, that is a very uncomfortable thing. But it’s the MTA’s domain, and they can’t be more squeamish than the folks who ride their trains. They can’t pretend something isn’t a huge problem when they know full well it is.
According to Douglas Sussman, Director of Community Affairs, “the MTA is reconsidering the posting of these ads and we should have some announcement on this matter very soon. If I can be of assistance on any other matter, I can be reached at ”
Holla Back NYC is asking people to email him, let him know where they stand on this squeamishness. I wrote Doug a nice note. I invite you to help make the world a better place, one dark dirty tubehole at a time.
(I’m really interested to hear what anyone in Boston has to say on this, I just don’t have as much of their info in my brain, so I apologize for the “NYC as center of the universe” tone.)
A few weeks ago someone killed themselves by jumping onto the tracks of the F train. I only know this because Mike got stuck on that train and told me. We never saw anything about it in the news. Going by the news, I’d guestimate subway suicides have only happened like once in the past five years. The reasons for are pretty obvious. This silenced anti-groping campaign smells like the same thing to me. I’ve never reported my incidents. I have no idea how regularly it happens. But if we have a campaign showing that the system is rife with sickos and perverts, wouldn’t that change things, raise awareness? The only thing the MTA wants to change and raise is their prices (booyah!).
Heavens to Mergatroid! What if that ashamed and sickened woman feels less alone after she’s been a victim, feels like it’s not she who failed by having the nerve to EXIST without a male bodyguard… but that a service she pays for, in public, has the responsibility to prevent one patron from doing to harm another. She’ll report it. Maybe they’ll get the guy!
If this were a restaurant, and a person got groped waiting in line for the bathroom, wouldn’t the management be railed against for not immediately calling the cops, arresting the jerk, and keeping a better lookout?
Yeah, I have a lot of rage. And sure… yes, I’ve been groped and felt up and all that jazz on the subway. Who do I fear on the train? Not the drunk asleep in his poop. Not the guy actually dripping blood (I couldn’t tell if it was his blood or if he was fresh from a nice vigorous stabbing). Those guys are just riding the train. I fear the one who decides he’s going to pet me because he can. The touch that is not accidental, but pervy. And I think about breaking his fingers.
Ok, I don’t actually fear them, I fear committing a felony that might mess up my eligibility for student loans. Why should I fear them? They fear nothing. They certainly don’t get in any trouble. It’s harder to find someone who looks more proud and happy with themselves.
Lots. Lots of rage. It’s true. Wanna make sumpthin’ of it? I do.
But how do you feel? What do you think about this? Also, if you are feeling brave and perhaps have the next couple Fridays off, contact me. I and a friend are working on something that could be illuminating…
[update] This just found via BuzzFeed: Camera phones in Japan all have alert sounds so perverts can’t take up-skirt photos. Shockingly I feel like these posters would give people in NYC ideas, or like they’re more a warning about what women should look out for. Why am I thinking like that after my strong impression that the MTA posters wouldn’t inspire nasty minds? Because it’s cartoon people in the Japanese poster maybe? I honestly don’t know. Design? Lack of wording?
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Off the Beaten Subway Track
Hello my bunnies, we’ve just returned from a lovely trip to visit retired family in Naples, FL. Aside from dipping in the ocean and waiting in line for the iPhone, we kept chill: watching movies, playing games, and swimming in the pool. My mom’s backyard abuts a nature preserve where I saw 3 species of butterflies, and the wing-folding origami of their mating.
Waiting in line at an Apple store in a high-end retail mall went like so: canvas umbrellas for shade, a linen covered table offering icewater with lemon, and waitstaff from a nearby California Pizza Kitchen coming by every few minutes with a different entree or appetizer cut into pieces. I feel like I should have suffered more with my fellow humans, so I’ll be going to the DMV here in Brooklyn this week. That should balance out the cosmic scale.
My expired driver’s license sucked in the suburbs. The mental map I have of my grandparents living “close” to my parents is shredded by the traffic in between. To meet my parents at a restaurant after getting dropped off at the movies, we had to walk to another strip mall to find an ATM (some have none, because there is no foot traffic except for dislocated New Yorkers), ask a bar for the best local cab company to use, walk again to an ATM inside the Costco ("my mom belongs here, please! thanks!"), then wait 45 minutes for the cab to arrive.
I love the NYC subway system with all my heart and soul (except when I hate it with the power of a thousand suns). I love that it exists and I hope it improves. I love that Manhattan is only 3 miles wide, that its bridges have foot and bike paths.
Hearing stories of my grandparents’ experiences of New York City gives me a nice feeling of continuity with my family and city’s history: the antique subway lines they took from Westchester (Yonkers, then Katonah) to Columbia and NYU, which tunnels and road projects my grandfather worked on, and how they had to keep moving further out as their family grew. Being away renews my appreciation for this funkyTown of ours, makes me eager to explore more.
One of the most useful new apps for the iPhone is CityTransit which sells for just a few more cents than the cost of a subway ride itself. I’ve not had the Locator function work for me yet, but it gives you all the maps for the NYC Subway, LIRR, Metro North, and even the Antique Subway, as well as the detailed line routes and transfers. As the MTA papers the walls and trains with more and more advertising instead of helpful maps, it’s useful to have them in my pocket when there’s no reception, or can’t move because of rush hour crowds.
I had no intention of mentioning last, an excellent book for anyone looking to explore the wonderland which is NYC: Off the Beaten (Subway) Track, by Suzanne Reisman.
I met the interesting, virtuous, and very lively Suzanne earlier this summer, who explained to me that during the course of her work (wielding a flaming pen of justice in official ways I can’t explain) she’s become aware of many extraordinary places. Since most people are oblivious to these tiny museums and peculiar galleries, she was compelled to write this treasure of a book. Actually, I’d call the book a treasure chest: open it and dip elbow deep in shiny jewels of troll museums and antique toy collections. You could spend years, or the next 1,000 family visits checking out the obscure attractions in this collection.
Suzanne will be at BlogHer in San Fran at the end of this week (jealous!) and the book party is next month here in New York City. Check out her site for more details.
Suzanne says one of the best things about discovering these wacky places is meeting the people behind them. I say the best thing about living here in NYC is the awesome people I constantly meet, like the author herself.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Saving Love Lives the World Over
I’m interrupting posts on punctuation today because it’s Monday, and there’s a new Breakup Girl comic online. For fear of being overly self-promotional I haven’t pointed to the site yet, but isn’t that really reverse discrimination? You know I’m the champion amoureuse of comics, superheroes, humor, love, and justice. So you can appreciate how psyched I am to be a superhero sidekick. Now when my keen eyes spot the intersection of technology and romance, I post on breakupgirl.net.
Every Monday there is a new comic, story by Lynn Harris (aka Breakup Girl, advise columnist at MSN.com, regular contributor at Salon.com, and author of Death By Chick Lit
Posts throughout the week cover all manner of topics and tangents, and can be counted on for their insight as well as entertainment factor. Right now for instance, Chris has posted a link to a blog I just fell in love with called “Lady That’s My Skull” and a post to a word search game of the occult: “Help, Doctor Strange!”
It’s all good stuff, and it’s all part of my ongoing mission to change the world.
You know I mean it when I say I love you guys. Just the excited emails I got about semicolons were enough to fill my heart to bursting. I had to google the spelling of verklempt…
You’re my bunnies, for reals.
And remember today’s Breakup Girl message — closure is up to YOU.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
The Semicolon
“Writing and programming have a lot in common. In both, you can make or break a statement with a semicolon.”
This is what I used to tell potential employers in interviews, when they asked how my BA in English translated to programming.
Slate has posted a terrific article about the semicolon, modern life being to the semicolon what video was to the radio star.
The article’s history lesson begins with two dudes dueling over a colon and semicolon, and though my fencing experience taught me I that am more formidable simply handing my opponent my foil and kicking them while they hold two swords, I can identify with their visceral sense of rightness, battling til there’s blood on the ground. I have strong feelings about the semicolon.
Slate’s semicolon story traces the evolution of technology (Morse code), the Victorian internet (the telegraph) and reading tastes (action fiction). “The semicolon is the enemy of action; it is the agent of reflection and meditation.” (quote from a NY Times 1943 editorial).
Researching this article must have been so interesting. I totally want to write articles just like it when I grow up.
Curious though, the article never clarifies when it is actually correct to use a semicolon. If my copy of A Writer’s Reference were here next to me, I believe it says semicolons are used to join two statements that are very related in their line of thought. The test for proper use is that each statement on either side of the semicolon must be a complete sentence that can stand grammatically on its own, but it’s not the same as a compound sentence which uses words like “but, and, so, therefore” to join two complete related phrases. A colon is followed by a list or some sort of tack-on, a comma is a pause (though we’re all dropping the formal ones around a person’s name or “you” as is proper punctuation). I wonder if our hesitancy to gauge the “relationship” of two statements is due a little bit to the overall breakdown of conventional structure and hierarchy. (Did you know the word “family” used to mean the household servants and had nothing to do with blood relations?)
Yeah, so.
I feel self-conscious when I use a semicolon, but sometimes it’s what works best. Granted, there might be none, or no more than one, in 20 pages of my writing. I make the decision based on how I want the statement read, how I want to encourage the reader to time their reading so as to absorb what I’m saying. Most of what writers do all day is add and remove the same comma twenty times. I’ve probably used the semicolon on this site, but I can promise you I debated the use, felt like some kind of antediluvian steampunk, then embraced it, because I can fight with or without swords.
The hilarity of it all is that I’m a horrible copy editor of my own work, as anyone who reads mintJelly was probably thinking at the top of this post. My fingers type faster than I think, and when I reread I’m hearing more what I meant to say. Only time, a change of mood or caffeine level allows me to “hear” myself. I think good punctuation is a matter of ear, listening to the sound of the statements. A sentence’s punctuation might seem too heavy or merely adequate on page or screen, but the ear can be the best test for missing commas, colons, and semicolons. I wonder if it’s slightly like kerning for typographers. The only rule I’d share with someone unsure of themselves would be to begin with a capital letter and end with a period. Just listen to the sentence and let your ear decide where additional punctuation could help with clarity.
I feel self-conscious writing about clarity and correctness when mintJelly is all “squeee la la la <3 bunnies!" but oh well.
That's why writing code is nice; it's terribly reassuring. The statement runs or it doesn't. There's always more than one right way to "say" or "do" something, but the coder gets a nice happy brain spark of instant gratification if their code at least runs the first time around. heh, maybe I'm only speaking for myself?
The fussy multisyllabic language that the George Orwell essay (from previous post) highlighted is the self-aggrandizing ugly stepsister of hard-working Cinderelly thought. It’s not a battle of short clear sentences versus long loopy ones, it’s about thinking as opposed to laziness.
The socially awkward semicolon suffers from sucky usability. It’s so weird and fussy that it distracts people just as much as poor grammar and bad writing. Who knows what will happen to it?
Long live the semicolon; death to all who oppose us! And don’t get me started about exclamation marks.
Monday, June 23, 2008
George Carlin and the English Language
~ RIP George Carlin ~
George Carlin will always be known as the foul-mouthed comedian who went to the Supreme Court over the seven dirty words you can’t say on television, but let’s give it up for a person who thought a lot about language, how we use it, and how we respond to it.
One of my favorites is his bit about Airline Language, and other examples of fussy, inflated speech intended to sound more scientific or authoritative that it is. George Carlin said with stand-up what George Orwell said with the essay “Politics and the English Language.”
Both Georges really wanted folks to be aware of the language they hear all the time, and the foolish or emotionally-manipulated thinking that language encourages.
The movie Idiocracy shows where that takes us (I gave up looking for a clip of the cops talking, but that would have been perfect).
Let’s pour a little Brawndo on the ground for our dead homie George.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
I Have Fun Everywhere I Go
Stop being so lame all the time and come join me tonight at a reading/rock show for Mike Edison’s memoir I HAVE FUN EVERYWHERE I GO!!
Savage Tales of Pot, Porn, Punk Rock, Pro Wrestling, Talking Apes, Evil Bosses, Dirty Blues, American Heroes, and The World’s Most Notorious Magazines.
Check out my review in the June issue of The Brooklyn Rail to read more about the book’s greatness. I have yet to tell anyone the book also made me cry twice, and pee my pants (more than twice), because I wanted to include the part about the cartwheel. tee!
Holy hand-grenade, this is a fantabulous read and you’re a doof if you don’t come rock with me tonight. Check out the comics and video at mikeedison.com and get yourself educated.
From the promo email (which I lazily apple-veed for everyone’s convenience):
This is where the rubber meets the road…
The Final Blast of The World’s Loudest Book Tour!!
TONIGHT ONLY AT PETE’S CANDY STORE IN SWINGING WILLIAMSBURG!!!
(709 Lorimer Street - btw Richardson and Frost)
Be there early, 7:30 for more XXX-Rated Rants and Savage Tales…
Starring Evel Knievel, Ozzy Osborne, the Raunch Hands, Reagan Youth, GG Allin, Larry Flynt, Liberace, Joe Franklin, and more strippers, wrestlers, LSD-sodden punks, picturesque drunks, and comically dysfunctional potheads than have ever been assembled in one book!
Soundtrack provided by the Delta Science Arkestra!
Once again we’ll be laying waste to all previous art forms!!!
This is our new band featuring superstars
HOLLIS QUEENS, DEAN RISPLER,
JON SPENCER, AND MR MICHAEL CHANDLER!!!
Can ya dig outerspace grooves, beatnik bop, and greasy sidewalk preaching??
And then Rock’n’Roll with the Edison Rocket Train (9 pm)…
It’s a revolution in words and sound!!!
Can’t wait?? Check out our new single, Pornography, Part 1, and hear the filthy truth about the Jews for Jesus at http://www.mikeedison.com (and don’t forget to check out the outtasite comics and read all the agit-prop!)
Have you seen the Bong Guitar video??? It’s a YouTube smasheroo!!!
Can’t wait? Need the book now? One Click on Amazon!!!
Need more info?? Just holler!!!
Need a dose of super sonic rasslin’ and high-minded racontouring!? Come on down!!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Suck it, Sinner!
I could talk about the Apocalypse until the end of time. Today’s Wired stories, like signs, or horsemen, or actual blog posts bearing hilarious portents of the end times, have me all *!*squee!*!
What Is the Ultimate Apocalypsemobile? An important question for those hell-bent on mobility when the shit goes down. (Ya betta be ready.) More on the Honda CRX soon, but first I need to have some fun with YouveBeenLeftBehind.com.
YouveBeenLeftBehind.com lets you send post-Rapture emails to the sinners in your life that got left behind when you were taken up (bodily) to Heaven. Here’s another article on ABC’s website. Both articles explain that one of the functions of the email is to (you know, just to be helpful) provide all your bank and asset data, and hold all your important documents, for those left behind so your worldly possessions can be accessed when you’re gone, but can’t be proven dead because your body is missing. They’re so logical and naive in their magical rationale. Ever play Magic the Gathering with a four year old? Anyhoo
This website seems to do all the work of a cult, without the messy cleanup or need to house and speak to the sheep in your flock, right up until the ritual mass suicide. Diagonally?! Pretty sneaky sis.
I love the potential for evil, in messing with the five people responsible for logging in. The system is designed to assume there is an apocalypse if five of the seven (7 of 9? the final five?!) people don’t log in for six days in a row, which could only mean that they had been taken up by the Rapture.
Knowing this, a few agents of darkness (email me at mia at this domain dot com to sign up!!!) working in tandem, could trigger a false apocalypse through shenanigans (shenanigans!!!) distracting, or detaining the secret logger-inners purportedly such good Christians that they know they’ll be taken up in Rapture. How ‘bout the rapture of a vegas stripper for a few days distraction? Ho ho ho! Or perhaps an old lady with car trouble who looks like your aunt Doris? muahahha buuahahahah! Foolish mortals. If they commit a mortal sin do they have to give up their post? Clearly they’re on the honor system.
What if they want to log in but can’t get their iphones activated?
This is serious though, people. It is entirely possible that I will receive one of these emails if el Rapturo Grande goes down. One day… after a week of not getting aggressively Christian chain email forwards or emails comparing Iraq to the legitimacy of WWII.... I’d get an “I Told You So” email informing me how serious it is that I am an unrepentant sinner. What would an email replying to that email sound like?
LOL that’s me! They don’t call me Miss Demeanor for nuthin! Anyhoo
After the initial brimstone and raining ash, the sky really cleared up. I haven’t used my inhaler in ages and bees came back. Not long after you guys disappeared, we noticed pollution in some parts of the country started clearing on its own. Fewer people, less traffic, I guess. So our rigorous efforts to work on the environment got a helpful jump start, thanks for that! Turns out the resistance to saving the environment was all related to people dismissing our one and only planet as place that wouldn’t be inherited by future generations (because of all that apocalypse jazz, ironic eh? Totally why people were buying SUVs and stuff too). We had the zany idea to use scientists instead of politicians to make and enforce an environmental plan, and since people stopped arguing with them, they only argue among themselves about how to do things better… so things keep getting better. Big nerds, but effective!
Wars totally did end (so you were right about something!). People just stopped throwing stones, since everyone here is officially a sinner. Well, the old sinners still like playing bocce ball, but there isn’t much fun in fighting over ideology and religion after the Rapture. Abortions are down, my friend with MS was cured, my friend with AIDS was cured, and thanks to new education and programs, everyone’s living in sin way healthier and longer. We found tons of money in the budget for schooling and higher education, also for caring for dirty old men, old witches and naughty children.
Now I can afford to live in Sin City and have the babies I’ve always wanted, so be sure to curse the little hellions from above when you see their multiple heads emerge from my originally sinful nether regions!
Lotsa love left!
~ Mia Miss Demeanor (sinning since 1975)
What would yours say? Or are you the smug & saved?
