mint jelly

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I am Irregular


I missed posting yesterday. Woke up this morning and that was one of my first thoughts.

It’s not that I forgot. As is typically my way, I remembered a bunch of times, but in each of those moments, I was otherwise occupied or responsible for something that I gave a higher priority: emails, food, configuring the interweb, reading massive amounts.

Still, how lame. What’s that — 10 days in?

I decided to do NaBloPoMo exactly because posting on my blog has almost never been a daily or regular event for me. While I can write on demand (or speak on demand, no performance anxiety here) I’ve always preferred to leave posting to times I’m excited about something, or feel that something is timely enough that I can’t let it pass without mentioning. I have some posts just waiting around in my head, a couple for years that may never get written.

I’m a bad blogger, but I never meant to be a blogger. I don’t really read blogs anymore, not the personal kind, except for a couple exceptions, just the way this isn’t really a personal blog anymore.

Last night, it would certainly have been easy enough to post one line, to post a photo, a link, so why didn’t I do that at some point when I remembered (or when I made a change to something here on the back-end of mintjelly)? Well, because after remembered about 4 times throughout the day, and having it in my to-do list, I forgot. By 6:30pm last night (an arbitrary time for me, but I realize this is when most people are heading home), my mind got taken over by domestic, financial, and unpaid-job responsibilities, and then my brain shut down and I forgot to remember again. This morning, my missing post joined in with the chorus of other terrors that wake me too early, along with this curious pain around my back and sides.

I’ve always wished I was a regular type of person. A person who goes to bed and wakes up at the same time, works out on a regular schedule, calls people on Sunday, always goes to the store on Monday, and so forth. But I never have. Any time I try, it lasts from between a week and a month. I do always keep doing whatever I’m doing, just on my own schedule. In most cases it works out fine, in the case of this experiment of NaBloPoMo, I have disappointed, but not surprised myself. I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner.

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